Episode 4: Not better…Not Worse…Just different

So, one of the things I want to accomplish with this blog is to give some insight into what life is like for a showbiz parent. Not only the ups and downs, (there are plenty), good and bad, (plenty of that as well!), but also some of the typical day to day stuff. Once your child enters the business, you are presented with a whole new set of responsibilities in addition to being a parent. You see, kids like Justin Beiber, Victoria Justice, and Miranda Cosgrove may generate more revenue than the Gross National Product of some small countries, but at the end of the day, they are just kids. Unable to enter into a contract, not old enough to sign a rental agreement, not mature enough to make decisions that will affect them for the rest of their lives. Therefore, it is our responsibility to handle these things…in addition to being their parents. Here are some examples of what I’m talking about…

In the two years that my child has been in the business, he has had jobs in three different states. His current job required us to relocate permanently. Now, while he is the one people see on television every week, he isn’t the one who signed the lease for our apartment. The utilities aren’t in his name. He doesn’t write, sign, and mail his commission checks to his manager and agent. He can’t call the Actor’s Credit Union to check on his Coogan Account to verify that the proper amount is going in every week. These are some of the added responsibilities that the parents take on. Also, one parent must be present with the child at all times while on set.

Some parents will hire outside help to handle these things. Business managers for the financial things. Lawyers for the contracts. Some even hire people to act as legal guardians to be with their child on set. While hiring help is an option, my wife and I never considered it. We felt that it was our responsibility to do what was in the best interest of our son. What’s best for him is that we are involved with everything so that we are always aware of what’s going on. Not to mention the fact that extra help brings extra expense. When this is all said and done, I want to be able to look him in the eye and tell him that we did the best we could at protecting him and his interests through all of this.

Like every other parent on the planet, were are also making decisions everyday concerning our children. These decisions are no more important than ones made by parents who don’t have kids in the industry, in terms of how they may affect our kids. We just seem to be judged more than other parents. Some examples…

A project comes in that looks like it could be a major career boost but the dialogue is not something a 12 year old should be saying. Does he do the film or not? I mean, he is an actor.

Your child wants to buy something that costs more than a lot of people make in a week. He works hard all week on set and in the classroom and he can afford it. Do you let him buy it, or not?

Child labor laws restrict children to working a certain number of hours per day. The 2^nd AD on set comes to you and asks if they can keep your child for 20 extra minutes in order to finish a scene. You pull your child to the side and ask how they feel. They say they feel great and want to continue. What do you do? If your child was attending a regular school and played on the basketball team, you would encourage them to stay after practice and work on their game. Is this any different?

Whenever you visit your hometown, there are always requests for appearances and interviews but your child just wants to be a kid and hang out with his friends. You want him to understand that it’s important to give back but at the same time, you want him to be happy. What do you do?

These are just a few scenarios that we have experienced. It’s interesting because as parents, you have certain rules that you raise your children by. You will not use that kind of language…If you want to buy that, you have to do extra chores and save your money…you have to be willing to put in extra work if you want to be successful…etc. But this industry is a different world and the key is to try and raise your child, by your rules, while trying to survive in this world. It’s not always easy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. Those of you who have kids know that it’s tough being a parent, no matter what! I just wanted to share a little bit of what it’s like for us. How we worry about the same things every other parent worries about. How raising our kids in this world, is different. Not better…not worse…just different. Stay tuned.